"And Then It Hits You, You're Alone"

Yesterday, I realized something absolutely crazy. Every person in my immediate family met the person they are going to marry by the age of 19. Well, at least the females in the relationship were 19. My mom and dad were together when my mom was 19, my sister met her husband when she was 19, and my brother met Catie when she was 19(I am not sure what age my brother was, 19 or 20 I think). I can tell you now that will most not likely be the case for me. 19 is almost over. I only have about 6 months left (it may sound like a lot but it goes by quickly). Maybe I am too picky, and yes, it is ridiculously lame being the only person in my family to not have a significant other, even my mom and dad have someone (they are separated for those who don't know).

I couldn't even fathom having a boyfriend right now. At what point would I have time to spend with him? None really, although it would be nice to have one, and I would gladly make the time, but I don't think I even really like any guy enough right now to make that effort. I keep meeting guys that I could see myself liking, but I always stop myself from liking them by finding something I don't like about them. Plus, I don't really want my choices to affect someone else. If I were to have a boyfriend and I decide to spend the free time I do have with my friends, or if I just want to go home and sleep and not go out, I don't want him to be upset. Without a boyfriend I can do those things guilt free.
I just want something casual. I don't want a serious relationship where I have to constantly worry about the other person's feelings 24/7. I just want to go on dates and have fun. Where we can both have our separate lives but still have each other.

Maybe I can just find someone who lives a little further away, or someone who would only be able to be together Friday-Sunday. That way I won't feel guilty about being busy every day of the week from 8 to 6 and being too tired to go out after work.
I won't lie, I miss always having a guy there to go out and have fun with, but I just don't want anything that is going to be a lot of work.
I think it is amazing that so many people in my family find their love so early on. But I really think my love is going to come a little later, although who really knows, maybe in the next 6 months I will meet "the one" and in a few years we will get married. Just thinking about that makes me laugh.


Change of subject, I just bought the new Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers album "The Bear", and it is amazing. They never disappoint me. I can't wait to see them live in November.