"She Asks How I Am, And So: How Am I..."

"...My days are the usual days. I wake up, I go out. Time goes by. My days are exactly the days I have lived since arriving here. In fact, how I am is amazed how this comforts me year by year. I work and I eat. Life is muffins and jam. The house is nice and quiet now. That is how I am."

Is there anyone else extremely bored with life?
I just want to travel, act and sing! I wish I could just be in the touring cast of Spring Awakening, but NOOOOOOOOO, there are no auditions for it over here. Only in Boston, where I am not currently located! I get so frustrated doing the same thing every day. Life is just so mundane right now, I need some excitement.

I quoted Little Women for two reasons,
one, that is how I feel, life is just being lived, not enjoyed. Well I definitely enjoy it, don't get me wrong, I am very blessed, but things could be a million times better, and I am going to work hard to make it better.
Two, I just finished reading Little Women this morning.
The book was really charming. There is no other way to describe it. I really enjoyed it.

I have started A Tale Of Two Cities this morning. I have read some of it but I can't remember so I am starting from the beginning. My goal was to read at least 3 books this year. One down.

Well I have to go to work and continue this boring cycle.

"Amazing Grace, How Sweet The Sound..."

MATTHEW 28:5-6

But the angel answered and said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. "He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.

Happy Easter! Jesus Christ was resurrected today, three days after his crucifixion, which was when he died for our sins, and God will grant us eternal life, if we choose to accept Jesus Christ as our savior, which I most definitely do.

John 3:16-17

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

His love is so unfathomable, there is nothing greater. I hope everyone can one day realize how amazing he truly is and accept him as their lord and savior. It has changed my life, that is for sure. I really wish everyone could remember what Easter is really about, I can tell you it should have nothing to do with the Easter bunny. Have a nice day everyone!

"I Can't Help You Fix Yourself, But At Least I Can Say I Tried, I'm Sorry But I've Got To Move On With My Own Life"

I am so sick of people. Their problems, their drama, their attitudes, I am done with dealing with everyone's crap. All my life I have been there for so many people. I have no clue what has sparked this blog, but today I woke up thinking that so many people are annoying, and I am just done dealing with crap. Oh and I can't stand it when someone, who thinks they know me, but really has no clue about one single thing about me, passes judgement on me thinking something is my fault when it isn't my problem that you rubbed me the wrong way on a day you shouldn't have. I apologize, but really I shouldn't have to take the blame. Here is to someone else, I hate who you have become. I never say hate, and I don't hate this person, but the person they are today is not someone I care about in the slightest. It shocks me how people change so fast. Hmm...who else...oh right, you make me laugh, challenge me intellectually, make me appreciate so many things, you drive me crazy, yet I'm so drawn to you and I can't help it. I would just like to know if you feel the same.
This isn't really about any of my close friends. I have no problems with Amanda, Javier, Chelsea, Kacie, Nicole, Dante, Josue, Lindsey or Rob...and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few...This is just about people who are in my life and I'm not super close with and yet their drama spills into my life and I don't want to deal with it because I just don't have the energy to care anymore.
From now on, I am going to just focus on myself. I don't if that makes me selfish, but I think it is time for me to just be on my own and work on my life and not worry about how other people are, when I know they don't care how I am. I am tired of caring so much, now I just don't.

"I Can Almost See It, That Dream I'm Dreaming..."

"...But there's a voice inside my head saying, 'You'll never reach it'".
Is it weird that Hannah Montana The Movie, makes me want to act so much more? I feel extremely motivated after watching that movie, I feel like, if she can do it, then I can. But I have so many doubts and worries, when this is all I want to do and acting and singing are the only two things that truly make me happy, what if I can't do it?
It is just such a risky business, and I know I am taking huge risks by just focusing on it and not bothering with anything else. I am so driven yet so scared at the same time.
I won't give up, and I am going to work hard. I just keep losing faith, in a lot of things.
"There's always going to be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move."
So true. Hmm whoever wrote her lyrics did an actual decent job on that song.
I JUST WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL!
I just want to act.

"Size 2 Clothes Don't Come To Those Too Lazy To Sweat"

"I want you whipped into shape. When I say jump, say "How high?" You'll know you're doing it right, when you start to cry"
Oh Legally Blonde the Musical, how I love thee.
Any who, that is not what I'm writing but I needed a song for my title, because that is what I always do. Today is the day I finally losing weight seriously. I always say I want to do, but I never do. It's always lasts like 3 days, then the second I miss a workout I don't do anything for a week and I always have to get back on track.
Starting today I am going to start exercising 5 days a week, and going on a diet. Well not really a diet because I know I won't follow one, but I am going to make a conscious effort to eat healthier. No more junk. I figure I would at least write it here so people can see, that way I have more motivation.
I will keep you posted on the weight loss situation.
Let's hope I stay on track this time. I'm off to exercise.

"Let's Get Out Of This Town Tonight"

Javier and I went to San Francisco on Sunday and we came back Tuesday afternoon. It was such a fun trip! On the way up I must have killed about 200 bugs on my windshield. Luckily Javier was there to clean the windshield. The drive up was nice, it only took about 5 hours. When we got there the weather was amazing. Not to mention the view from Lindsey's apartment was so beautiful. Then Lindsey took us around the city and it was fun. Javier repeatedly yelled "Where are my gays?" But no one ever answered, he was very disappointed. The next day Javier, Lindsey and Chelsea and I all went shopping, had lunch, amazing ice cream, and then we went back to Chelsea's apartment and Matthew made us some yummy stir fry. Oh I forgot to mention, in order to check out the hott guys in the city we would sing Lady Gaga "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich". We would say "Bang Bang Bang" and if the others agree would sing back "A Bang Bang Bang". It was really funny. I loved getting to go up there and see the city when the weather was nice, and seeing Lindsey and Chelsea was awesome. On the way home, Chelsea came with us, we sung loudly to Wicked, Rent, Spring Awakening, Little Shop of Horrors and The Last 5 Years. It was fun, it was a great trip and I can't wait to go back up there and visit again!