"You Talk So Much But You Mean So Little"

I think everybody wants a life of meaning, I know I do. I want to help people, I want to impact people's lives, and I want to be remembered as a person who has always loved everything. I want to love everyone, I may have not liked people in the past, but I am forgetting about everything. I want to start fresh and care about everyone. I was reading my Bible and I just realized that I need to stop caring about certain things. Forgiveness is important when I was around 14 I had problems with that, but ever since about 16 I have always forgiven everyone in my life, no matter how much, or the multiple times they have hurt me; but it is time that I tackle my next big problem and that is to stop judging. I need to stop judging people's clothes, looks, attitudes, choices, everything, because it is their life, not mine. And who am I to judge? I don't want to be judged, so I must stop judging. It will be hard, and I know I may never stop completely, but with God's help I am going to try.

Back to the subject of love. I met someone, who is amazing,but he lives kinda of far not really but it is inconvenient. But the big thing is that I don't want to have my heart broken. I feel like, I don't want to date anyone, not seriously anyway, until I want to get married. I know that may sound stupid, but I once thought I was in love, maybe I was, I am pretty sure I was, and I got my heart ripped out, stomped on and shoved in a blender. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I am so happy right now, I don't want another person to ever make me feel that way again. I guess I am just so scared to open myself up like that again and have it not be returned. Or worse have the feelings returned and then revoked.
They say love is worth taking risks for, but I really don't think feeling like that is worth it. I pray that one day I will meet a man who will love me forever. I don't know when he will come along, but I pray God brings him into my life.
I just find it odd that a person can be your whole world one day, and then not be in your life at all the next. But I know God has a good plan for me, and I will be patient and I have full trust in him that he will take care of me.

I want to stop talking so much about nothing, and bring meaning into my life. How I will do that, I am not sure, I pray for an opportunity to help someone everyday. And maybe I do help people without knowing it, but I will plant the seeds, and hopefully they will grow.