"I Guess It's Really Over, I'm Finally Getting Better"

After having one last relationship discussion with Raber on Friday, I've come to accept that it is over. You can never make anyone love you, no matter how much you were there for them to support them, take care of them, laugh with them and cry with them. Isn't it weird how you can do "nothing wrong" and still have them not care? I think it is weird. But he needs some growing up time which means alone time. Which I understand. At least he decided he could be my friend, because he was barely going to give me that...after almost 10 months I think I deserve his friendship. I want to say thank you for everyone who was here for me, Dante, Amanda, Rob, Josue, Kacie, Nicole, Crystal, Mom, Dad, Jeannie, Brad, Javier, Chelsea, Amy, Lindsey, everyone was amazing and I thank you all for being part of my life and caring. I went to hang out with my friend Dante at his house yesterday...Raber was there, which I wasn't expecting since I did not see his car or anything, but whatever, it was fine we played Apples to Apples and Spoons as a group and it was fun. It was kinda weird to see him when I have completely different feelings now. I don't know I think it is weird to see someone you were so in love with and then see them as just your friend, the feeling is way different. Then we went to church, which I could barely find myself paying attention to because of my back pain and the sitting and standing was driving me crazy, plus the man preaching was kinda yelling so I immediately tried not to listen because I don't like when people yell, so I was praying while he was talking instead. One good thing, since I haven't really been eating I've lost some weight so that's good! Now I just have to keep it off...not that I can exercise because of my back but whatever. I'm bummed I don't have acting class tomorrow but I have shepherding group...which reminds me, I'm behind on some quiet times...I wasn't in the mood these past few days to even pick up a pen, let alone read something. I need to get back on track with that. Well I'm pretty sure I'm just rambling now so I will say TTFN. Ta Ta For Now.