"Did I ever tell you you're my hero?"

This can’t be happening. I can’t believe grandpa Dave died. He was such a strong person…how can the doctors not find cancer in a man who visits the doctor at least once a month. The cancer was spread throughout his entire body. I feel as though I have lost all of my grandparents now…my grandma died a few years ago, and in all honesty I don’t feel like my dad’s parents are my grandparents, they are just two people I see once every 5 to 8 years. I loved my grandpa so much, and I am beyond sad that I can no longer see him. I am happy that he is getting the military funeral, with a 21 gun salute, he always wanted that. And he is being buried next to my grandma, whom I am also missing like crazy. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. But I know that now they can be together in a much better place. I’m not going to the funeral in Texas, I can’t handle it. I don’t want to see my grandfather being put into the ground, which is not the way I want to remember him. I want the last memories to be of this past summer when he was my strong Grandpa Dave, who made good BBQ and ice cream floats, and complaining about how is brand new car is getting old and that he needs another new car. Or how he doesn’t like all the stray cats in the neighborhood coming to his house….well duh grandpa you leave food on the porch for them! :] Or watching Walk the Line with him and having him giving me his Elvis and Johnny Cash records….both of us were very big fans. I am going to miss him so much; I loved him more than I can say. I’ve been crying nonstop for over an hour. Even though I wouldn’t get to see him as often as I liked, I was always happy when I was there. When I was a very little girl and I would pretend to die dramatically in his living room he would say “Someone get this girl an Oscar she is going to be an actress!” I will never forget his praise about Beauty and The Beast and Aida; he told me that he would tell all his friends about his talented granddaughter. I love him so much. As a man of the military, he would rarely show his emotions, and last summer as I left his house and hugged me and told me that he loved me. It was the most special moment I have ever had with him. Never had he said that, I always knew he did, but he never says things like that, I cried when I left because I knew that when he said it he really meant it. It was beautiful. My mom said that before he died he said to her that he loved “Sandy, Danny and Tati very much.” I wish I could just have my grandpa and grandma back, but I know that God is taking care of them. I will never forget you; I can’t wait to be able to tell my kids stories about you.

I love you Grandpa Dave, God bless you.